


emotional connection

by MissPandaBerry



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: ANGST!! HOW DID I FORGET???, Angst, Emotions, F/M, M/M, Slow Burn, characters are multifacetted alright, did i mention on how slow this is?, everybody is bad at having feelings, hakoda is a spy, hakoda pov, i ship the hot dads, infiltrating the fire nation, it sounds crackish but its serious, like hella angsty, like painfully slow, ozai getting character development nobody expect, spy fic, there is no completely evil and completely good, they are grey, this is a rollercoaster alright, u think u know what direction this takes but u do not i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPandaBerry/pseuds/MissPandaBerry
Summary: As rumors get around that the Avatar was killed in Ba Sing Se, hopelessness and grief spreads through the world like a disease.Hakoda tries is best to stay postive, to have faith that his children are still alive. But with the Avatar presumably gone, how is there a chance to win this war against the Fire Nation?Unexpected connections open new opportunities.Is he able to infiltrate the Fire Nation and destroy it from the very within? Is there still a chance to win this seemingly lost war? Will he see his children ever again?
Relationships: Hakoda/Ozai (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 40





	1. Part I - Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> /Despite all things this fanfiction might to be perceived as, it is more serious and way longer than what I expected it to be. I am honest, it started as crack (who would have though), but the plot and development of the characters is surprisingly compound and I experienced great joy in writing this piece. 
> 
> /I ship the hot dads. 
> 
> /Also, I'm exited about my own fanfiction.

# emotional connection

## Part 1 - Incarceration

### Chapter I.

They haven’t heard from Sokka or Katara in two weeks. The little blind girl and the beast disappeared as well. The soldiers tried not to lose hope and kept watching the sky for a sign - any sign - that the Avatar survived. 

But the weeks went by and the feeling of hope was replaced by grief. Was this really the end of the war? How could they allow themselves to lose? When did it go wrong?

_A hundred years ago..,_ Hakoda thought.

The feeling of hopelessness and cold fear was haunting him in sleepless nights. Bitterness creeping up inside him during the day. News got around like wildfire: The Avatar was killed in Ba Sing Se and the Fire Nation located itself inside the ‘Impenetrable City’.

It was difficult for Hakoda to concentrate on anything other than his children. He had no clue, no sign, didn’t even hear rumors on where they could be. He felt paralyzed by the worry for the well-being of Katara and Sokka. 

He was grateful for Bato trying to give him hope. 

_“They are okay, I’m certain about that. Sokka is a clever young man, he thought of a way to get out of there in time. And you know Katara. She is too protective and stubborn to let anything bad happen to them. They will find us.”_

Hakoda’s heart ached when he thought about his children, yes, but he and the rest of the water tribe soldiers griefed the loss of the Avatar, although not everybody believed the rumors. 

All in all, most warriors were talking optimistically, spreading positivity and certainty about how they can still win the war. But in the back in their heads doubt is creeping into their mind and exhausts them. The news about the fall of Ba Sing Se and the Earth Kingdom was a huge shock and in this situation they had no chance to fight off the Fire Nation with Water Tribe forces only. 

They had to develop a new plan.   
___

It was early in the morning - the sun hasn’t even risen yet - when one of the warriors, Vodik, called for Hakoda. Half-asleep, the man stumbled out of his tent and discovered others doing the same thing, mumbling tiredly about being woken this early in the morning.   
Vodik, a young bright man with an incredible talent for cooking, was running around the small camp, collecting as many weapons as possible, still calling for Hadoka. 

As he was seeing the usually calmer warrior in such a confused state, Hakoda’s mind woke up completely now. He had to grab the younger man by the arm to get him from sprinting around the camp. “What happened?”, asked Hakoda, his heart racing. 

Vodik stared at him for a few moments, as if he tried to figure out who was talking to him, when his eyes widened in panic. 

“The Fire Nation sends forces all across the kingdom. They will be here any moment.”

“Even here?” Bato came to a stop next to Hakoda. “Yes!” The next thing Hakoda noticed was the chaos growing around him. 

The soldiers quickly got dressed, put on as much armor as they could in a short time and began to collect their weapons as well when Hakoda yelled for a stop. 

“Wait a moment, let’s think this through-”, he started but was interrupted by a warrior running past him. “We don’t have time to form a strategy! The Fire Nation is right down the bay!” 

Hakoda felt ice forming inside his body by this statement but turned around anyway to see the opening of the bay. 

And the warrior was right. 

Two ships were heading towards the small Water Tribe camp. They would be here in a few minutes, if they didn’t shoot any fire balls sooner. 

_Think quickly,_ Hakoda thought and focused on the situation at hand. They were outnumbered by far, therefore fighting would do more damage to themselves than the forces of the Fire Nation. 

_We were surprised and lost precious time. We can’t run._

“Do we fight?”, asked Bato and Hakoda could hear in his voice that Bato came to the same conclusions Hakoda did. 

_This can’t be the end. No, I refuse this to be the end. I have to find Sokka and Katara. We can still win this war._

But doubt and anxiety nagged inside Hakoda. 

“No.”, Hakoda said, first quietly to himself and Bato, then yelled commands to his warriors to lay down their weapons. 

“We will surrender.”, he explained as he saw confused and disbelieving faces. 

“We can fight! We don’t have to go down like this!”, someone called. Hakoda gave Bato a quick look, who nodded encouragingly. 

_This has to work._

“We will surrender.”, he repeated and saw with an anxious feeling in his stomach the ships arriving at the bay’s shores. 

Visibly hesitant, the warriors dropped their weapons and surrounded Hakoda and Bato, standing close together - a surprising feeling of family and protectiveness overcame him. 

“Whatever happens, we can and will survive this.”, Hakoda said. 

_We have to, otherwise the last days will have come upon this world,_ he thought. 

As the soldiers of the Fire Nation jumped from the first vessel and sprinted over to surround them, the Water Tribe warriors stepped closer together, hiding their weapons underneath and behind themselves, heads high in the air and striking a powerful pose. 

They will surrender but they won’t appear weak. 

Hakoda stepped forward, standing in front of his warriors, Bato followed his example and barricaded the Water Tribe from the soldiers approaching them. 

“Identify yourselves!”, yelled one of the soldiers. The men of the Fire Nation had the warriors surrounded, their hands in a position of attack. 

The man who yelled stepped closer to Hakoda and Bato, his posture straight, hands behind his back. 

_We are mere travellers, taking a rest on Chameleon Bay. We are on our way to our brothers and sisters in the north. - No, if they saw our weapons, they know we can possibly fight. - We are refugees from the South. - Do refugees look this hostile? - We are warriors trying to defeat the Fire Lord and end this war. - Sure, and getting killed right in the spot._

_Are my children alive?_

“My name is Hakoda. I’m at your service, sir.” 

_Think, think, think, think._

“Alright - Hakoda.”

_Come up with something!_

The soldier standing right in front of Hakoda and Bato eyed them with a suspicious look written on their faces. 

“You don’t look like people from the earth kingdom. Who are you?”

_He hasn’t noticed the weapons yet, maybe we can get out of this peacefully._

“We came from far away and camped here for a while. We didn’t know this was territory of the Fire Nation. Apologies for that. We will leave as soon as possible and don’t make any trouble.”, tried Hakoda to reason.

If they don’t get arrested, they can collect forces again and from a new plan to strike an attack. 

The look on the man’s face told Hakoda that he didn’t buy it. 

“Next time we will be more careful on where we build up our camp.”, added Bato in a cheerful tone, although his features showed clear uncomfort. 

The Water Tribe warriors behind them, who followed their conversation, tried to relax their postures to show less hostility. 

“The earth kingdom is under control of the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation. You are not allowed to stay here. You have to be transferred to the nearest city where the Fire Nation is able to preserve order and control. If you refuse we are rightfully permitted to use violence and sentence you without a right of trial to a bending-cleared prison. Do you follow?”

_As if sending us to a Fire Nation controlled city or a prison makes any difference. - It makes a difference, I have a chance to find Sokka and Katara. - Maybe they are in prison. - No, would have heard if that was the case._

“Yes.”, he answered. Just a few more moments to keep calm and everything will be over. They will be transferred, that’s alright - 

“Captain! They have weapons!”, yelled a man from behind them. He was circling the group, other’s looking through the camp. 

Simultaneously, the Fire Nation soldiers and the Water Tribe warriors tensed up, reaching for their weapons and Hakoda could feel the first sparks of fire heating up the air. 

“Stop!”, he yelled and he could see Bato holding back Vodik and a few other warriors to start fighting the firebenders. 

Hakoda turned to the Captain. 

“We don’t want to fight. Don’t use violence, we will surrender without making any trouble.”

_We’ve lost too much in such a short time._

The Captain was calculating for a few seconds, then he shouted commands to his soldiers.

“Arrest them! Look for weapons!” 

Hakoda’s heart sank for a moment before he calmed himself again.

“They might be benders, tie up their hands!”

Hakoda lost his orientation for just a second, as he was thrown to the ground by a man he couldn’t see. With the heavy body on his back, he turned his head to look for his companions and ice formed inside of him when he saw the chaos emerging around him. 

Yelling, words he couldn’t understand, the sound of running people, fire.

Bato was lying a few feet away from him, two soldiers on top of him. Vodik was sprinting towards Bato, throwing one of the men off of him. The fallen man was on his feet in a heartbeat and lifted his arms to fire back an attack. 

“Warriors! On the ground!”, yelled Hakoda. 

_They’ve won this time. We are not strong enough to fight back now._

The Water Tribe warriors obeyed his order, let themselves get arrested by the soldiers of the Fire Nation - who weren’t quite careful not to hurt them in that matter.

Hakoda was lifted promptly and once again face to face with the captain. 

“Welcome aboard. Don’t expect to be treated with respect.”, he said with a cruel smile. 

Hakoda didn’t get time to reply because he was forcefully pushed forwards, the man behind him making him walk towards the ships waiting at the shore. 

He heard his warriors mumbling, stressed little sentences, grunting and insults by the firebenders. As bad as the situation is at the moment, at least nobody got badly hurt and Hakoda counted that as a little win. 

They were separated into two groups: Hakoda, Vodik and three other warriors were led into the first ship. Bato and the rest of the Water Tribe men head to the second ship. The captain never left Hakoda’s side. 

Hakoda catched a last glance of Bato, sending him a reassuring smile and headed into the ship. 

Hakoda was the first one to enter, next to him the captain, behind him the man holding him tight at his arms, Vodik with two soldiers at his sides and the three other warriors at the end, each being followed closely by firebenders, arms up prepared to attack if necessary. 

Hakoda walked in a straight posture, radiating confidence and hoped deeply that his fellow warriors would take on that, trusting him not to let them down. 

They walked through long halls, the walls and floor completely built from metal. The halls were dark, decorated in red, their whole interior dripping in patriotism. 

Hakoda felt sick. 

The firebenders led them around several corners, Hakoda wondered how the inside was so much bigger and complexer than it seemed from the outside. It felt like they were walking for hours. 

They took their new prisoners down narrow stairs, one person walking ahead of the other. 

The captain was now in front of Hakoda, leading the way through even narrower halls - he could barely see. They arrived in a room, a wide one, when they came to an abrupt stop. 

Vodik bumped slightly into Hakoda and if he heard correctly, farther in the back was some stumbling and bumping as well. 

Hakoda’s eyes needed a few seconds to adjust to the semi-darkness and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that they’ve arrived in the brig of the ship.

A new soldier, probably the ward, was sitting in the corner, reading with a frown on his face a book, a small flame crackling softly on his palm, creating a dim light. 

The captain cleared his throat, thus the ward jerked his head up, threw the book aside and extinguished his palm fire. He jumped from where he was sitting and saluted. 

The captain grabbed Hakoda’s arm and threw him in the ward’s direction, who widened his eyes in surprise. Hakoda caught himself before he could collide into the ward. 

“Put them behind bars.”, the captain said. “If they make you any trouble you are allowed to use violence.”

The ward saluted again, Hakoda was sure the man was trembling. 

“Sir, if I’m allowed-”, he started but stopped, although nobody had interrupted him. “Speak then.” 

The other firebenders pushed one Water Tribe warrior after another into the cells of the Brig, the last one being Hakoda himself. 

“Does the, the Admiral know about this?”, finished the ward finally. 

The firebenders closed the doors of the cells with a slam - almost simultaneously, how fascinating - Hakoda heard the captain sigh. 

“No, not yet. I will send a falcon as soon as I’m back at the bridge.”

The captain turned around, signed his soldiers to leave the brig. “Now, make sure our guests behave. We’ll arrive in Full Moon Bay in five days. Then these people will be the problem of the Dai Li.”

_Dai Li?_

“Yes, Captain.”

The captain left the Brig, Hakoda could hear the heavy steps on the metal stairs and even on the floor upstairs. 

_Is there a chance to escape within these five days? - Even if we manage to escape, that would mean a crueler outcome for Bato and the others in the second ship. Furthermore, it’s not clear if we’ll end up in the same place._

_But Full Moon Bay? That’s the ferry to Ba Sing Se. It would be way easier to collect forces in Ba Sing Se. - No wait, Ba Sing Se is under complete control of the Fire Nation. - We will be put in prison anyway. - So we have to escape beforehand. - But Bato and the others … Fuck._

“Hakoda?”, whispered Vodik next to him. He was the only one with Hakoda inside his cell, two are in the cell next door and one in the very last. 

“What are we going to do now?”

_Escape. -Bato. -Ba Sing Se. -Dai Li, who are the Dai Li? - Escape or we’ll end up in prison. - We have to collect forces, the Water Tribe is the last nation to be free of the control of the Fire Nation. - We have to escape. - Bato._

_Are my children alive? Could they still be in Ba Sing Se?_

“Did you see the flag of the ship?”, Hakoda asked. He couldn’t quite see Vodik’s face, but saw him shaking his head. 

“I didn’t think of that.”, he admitted. 

The ward had resumed reading his book, a new flame formed in his palm, although he didn’t quite seem to concentrate much on it - the former peacefulness destroyed by the sudden intruders. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.”


	2. Part I - Chapter II

Two hours went by, Hakoda’s eyes got used to the dark almost immediately, the small fire drowning the Brig in warm, dim light, playing movements on the metal wall, Vodik’s face. The Water Tribe warriors in the cell next to them were whispering quietly but Hakoda couldn’t understand anything. Nevertheless, he did find some kind of comfort in the familiar sounds of his companion’s voices.   
Vodik sat in the ground, cross-legged, his chin resting in his hands, the light of the fire dancing on his features. Hakoda noticed he was frowning and assumed Vodik to be deep in thought. 

Hakoda himself stood - leaned against the metal wall. 

_The news has it that the Avatar was killed in Ba Sing Se, which leads to the assumption that many people might have lost faith in a victory over the Fire Nation. If there isn’t the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord, who will do it instead?_

_The Water Tribe is too weak to strike an attack now, even if we weren’t held captive inside a ship of the Fire Nation. We were too weak to strike an attack alone._

_The Water Tribe is the last Nation yet to be conquered by the Fire Nation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we are the last people willing to fight against the Fire Nation. But others might be discouraged because of the death of the Avatar._

_But anyway, we are currently captured and on their way to Full Moon Bay._

_Now, there are different possible scenarios with multiple outcomes. If we continue our way to Ba Sing Se without any attempt of escape or anything in that matter, we will be imprisoned with no chance of escape, rescue or collecting forces.  
However, there is still a small chance that Sokka and Katara being imprisoned as well, although the probability is low, they could manage to form an escape plan. Otherwise, if word got around of us being arrested and if Sokka and Katara are still alive they might try to rescue us - which is an extremely low probability in itself. _

_Or we will be executed._

_Another possible scenario is our escape - or escape attempt. This one delivers a variety of outcomes which can even be further combined.  
One positive outcome could be that we - meaning the prisoners inside this ship - manage to escape, which leaves the captain with two options: Chase after us or continue with Bato and the other warriors to Full Moon Bay.   
If they decide to chase after us, Bato might have a chance to escape as well. On one hand can we function as a distraction, on the other hand might we get caught again and have to face a harsher treatment (if we’re not executed on sight).  
If we actually succeed to escape, new questions would arise: What happens to Bato and the others? Will they get treated more brutally if they manage to escape? Tortured for information? Killed for treason? _

_The last scenario I can think of is to caper the ship. But - no. It has an extremely high chance of failure. Five Water Tribe warriors against a ship full of firebenders? No chance._

_Whatever I will come up with, whatever we decide to do - we have to be clever._

Hakoda’s thought process was interrupted by the sound of Vodik’s snoring. He turned to look at the younger man. Vodik was still sitting on the ground, not cross-legged anymore but he rested his head on his knees, leaning against the metal wall. Hakoda shook his head. How could a man fall asleep in a place like this? He had too much going on in his own mind as if he could find a minute to sleep. 

Forming half an idea, he straightened his posture and walked over to the bars. For a moment he had to squint his eyes, not used to see the small flame formed by the ward this open and direct. 

The ward had looked up from his book he pretended to read when Hakoda neared the bars. Hakoda had a good look on his face, the flame illuminating his face. His features were shockingly young, his face boyish, eyebrows quirked up in question. Youthful curiosity written all over his face. 

The ward didn’t say anything, but asked an unspoken question as he raised his eyebrows even higher than Hakoda thought was even humanly possible. 

“You look quite young.”, he heard himself asking the ward. _Damnit, that was not how I wanted to start this conversation, he thought, slapping himself mentally for not being more careful._   
The ward frowned. “Excuse me?” The man closed single-handed his book without putting a bookmark in or marking the page. The flame in his palm decreased, creating more shadows around them. 

_Now commit to it._

“For someone who is working as a ward on a military ship? You appear to be quite young to serve in the navy.”

“It’s an honor to serve the Fire Nation in any way and any age.”, the ward said and straightened himself, growing a few centimeters. It sounded like something he recited or learned by heart, with no real pride behind it, no meaning behind his words. 

_Perfect._

“I believe that’s true. They would tell you that and within the Fire Nation it most certainly is. That’s what you’re taught in school after all, isn’t it?”

The ward broke eye contact for a mere second, looking uncertain towards the entrance before focussing on Hakoda again.   
“Yes.”, he said, voice losing its confidence. 

“May I ask you for your name?”

The ward hesitated. 

“Yao.”

“Yao.”, he repeated. “I’m Hakoda.” The ward, Yao, didn’t reply. He broke eye contact once again and didn’t focus on Hakoda again. He dropped his flame and darkness surrounded them, leaving Hakoda with an uneasy feeling. Only the soft and quiet snoring of Vodik calmed him a little bit. He didn’t notice any reaction from the cells next to them. 

“I shouldn’t be talking to you.”, he heard Yao quietly saying. He was nearer, Hadoka didn’t hear him standing up or stepping closer. Maybe it was his paranoia, sharpened senses because of the cold darkness pressing in on him. 

“Why not?” Not a good question, not a good question at all. Don’t fuck it up, Hakoda.

“It’s forbidden. As long as you don’t give me any reason to act, I shouldn’t interact with prisoners at all.” 

_For someone who isn’t supposed to interact with prisoners, you are very talkative._

“There’s hardly any harm done with just a little bit of talking.”, Hakoda said. “Look, I’m sure it can get pretty boring down here alone. I’m bored already.”

That wasn’t true at all. Hakoda’s heart was racing, focussing sharp on his surroundings, calculating what he said to the obviously young man without scaring him off or appearing suspicious. Although Hakoda was convinced he appeared suspicious no matter what he would do. 

“It’s not getting boring down here.”, Yao said, almost defiant. “In fact, it’s quite an easy job. I get to sit in silence and -”, he stopped himself. 

“Read?”, Hakoda finished for him, trying to get the conversation flowing. 

“I guess.”

“But are you not getting interrupted by prisoners and soldiers coming and going?”

“No. Nobody’s really ever in here apart from me and the girl. You guys are my first prisoners to -”, he stopped again, this time with a sharp intake of breath. 

“You’re new then? Coming from the academy?”

Yao didn’t respond.

“It must be very exciting to see the war first hand.”, Hakoda tried again. “Yao?”

A few steps towards Hakoda. 

“No, stop.”, Yao started, his voice loud and angry. “I know I’m new. I know I make mistakes. But I won’t be manipulated. You are here because you did something wrong. Stop talking or I will use violence.”   
Yao’s voice was shaky and Hakoda didn’t believe him actually using violence, but nevertheless he didn't want to overstep the boundaries and drew back. 

“Alright. I’m sorry.”, Hakoda said. 

_At least I got to test the waters. If I understood correctly, there is just him and a girl down here guarding us. I can work with that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is hella short bc I don't get sleep due to all the assignments I have to finish
> 
> did i mention how slow burnish this is?? like... painfully slow. U wont even notice that ur are getting burned
> 
> stay tuned
> 
> xx


	3. Part I - Chapter III

He felt awful. 

There’s no better way to describe it. A feeling building up deep inside his stomach, lying there cold and heavy and as soon as he paid attention to it, it creeped up inside his heart, numbing his body, fogging his mind. 

The situation came crashing down on him over and over again. Not necessarily their captivity, but the possibility of the Avatar’s death - his children’s deaths. 

Mostly at night, when his mind was in the most vulnerable state, he kept reviewing the world, the war and its development. 

Maybe the war really was lost with the fall of Ba Sing Se. Maybe freedom died with the Avatar. Maybe this was the end. 

At times, he didn’t seem to be able to breathe, a heaviness pressing on his chest, his breath cut short and his senses blurry. He tried to stay calm, but his hands would shake. Vodik thankfully never said anything - he probably didn’t even notice it in the dark and being in his own head himself, Hakoda was certain the young warrior was having a hard time as well. 

His conversation with Yao was two days ago and since then the ward had remained silent. He didn’t even create a flame or bring any light with him; just coming and going, sitting in the corner and being caught in his own mind. No book, no sound, no communication. 

“I have a son your age.”, Hakoda heard himself say. He winced at the raspy sound of his voice. He heard Yao moving - probably shifting in his seat - but he didn’t reply. 

“And a daughter, fourteen years old.”, Hakoda continued, not knowing why he was saying this anyway. Vodik signed him to stop; Hakoda didn’t.

“I miss them dearly.”, he said, his voice softer and quieter. “I’m worried sick.”

“I won’t let you go because you miss your kids.”, snapped Yao. 

“No. I don’t mean that.” 

Yao was shifting again, suspicion radiating off of him. 

“You reminded me of my son, that’s why I asked you about your age. I apologize if that was insensitive.”

“That was days ago, let it be.”

Hakoda didn’t let it be. He had no real point he was trying to reach, he simply wanted to speak about Sokka and Katara - he had a feeling talking about them makes them more alive, a concept to grasp, not only in his head but to bring them into this room, bring them back to existence. 

“They might be dead.” 

A beat. 

Two beats.

“I’m sorry.”, Yao said, meaning it. 

This was the first time Hakoda said it out loud. His worry he carried for over two weeks now - spoken out loud, making them real. It was on every warrior’s mind - Sokka and Katara might be dead, along with the Avatar - but it was a thing kept silent. 

“You don’t know where they are?”, Yao asked, more a whisper than anything else.

“No. I know where they have been but a long time passed since then. They live dangerously and I’m worried what might have happened to them.” 

Hakoda was thinking for a moment. 

“But I couldn’t be prouder.”

Yao stood up from where he was sitting and walked slowly over to Hakoda, who neared the barrier between them as well. Vodik stayed and watched their conversation with growing attention. He was probably thinking Hakoda had a motive, a plan, that he maybe tried to manipulate the young firebender into letting them leave or helping them to escape. 

But Hakoda just had one thought in his mind:  _ Are my children alive? _

“Why is that?”

“Why am I proud of my children?”

“Yes.”

Hakoda didn’t reply immediately. 

“I left them when they were too small. They just lost their mother and I decided to leave them behind to join the fight in this war.”, he paused, a sudden emotion of unexpected guilt overwhelming him. 

“My son took care of the Tribe, my daughter took care of him. All without any guidance.” 

_ Shit, I just told him about the Tribe… But he doesn’t seem to care too much about this bit of information. I need to be more careful. _

“They left as well, pursuing their fate to fight in this war. To help the weak and innocent.”

“Why did you leave them?”, Yao asked. 

“I had to. I love my children more than anything. They are my entire world and I think about them every day. It ached to know that they were alone and it aches me to know that I might never see them again. I haven’t seen my daughter since I left.” 

Yao was quiet, leaning against the bar close to Hakoda and evaluating their conversation. 

“That’s your own fault.”, Yao concluded. 

“I don’t deny that. But I hope one day I will have the chance to make it better and take them in my arms again.”

“I’m sorry.”, Yao started. “But nevertheless I can’t let you go. You will probably be shipped to the Boiling Rock and I doubt that there is a high chance you’ll find your children there. “

In the corner of his eye, Hakoda saw Vodik jerking his head up. He noticed it as well.  _ What the hell is the Boiling Rock? I thought we were going to Ba Sing Se. - Don’t be suspicious now, the boy is naiv, keep this up. _

“There’s always hope.” 

___

Twenty minutes later, Yao was replaced by another ward - the girl he was talking about, Hakoda presumed. The girl wasn’t a girl but rather a woman in her thirties, the contrast surprising Hakoda. 

Without using any words the woman made it very clear that she would not allow any talking or interacting, dominance radiating off of her. Even Yao ducked away from her, and they were supposed to be colleagues. 

Vodik and Hakoda retreated to the metal wall, far away from the new ward. 

“What is your plan?”, whispered Vodik, barely audible even for Hadoka. 

“My plan?”, Hakoda asked, careful not to raise any suspicion. He knew what Vodik meant, but the truth is, he didn’t really have a plan. His conversation with Yao clearly showed him that there was information being kept from him and crucial points missing to form a thought-through and executable plan. 

“Yes, your conversation to form an emotional connection with that ward boy. Do you try to get him into freeing us? He’ll be blamed, that’s a perfect cover for us.”

_ Sokka. _

“No.”, Hakoda snapped, accidentally raising his voice and gaining attention from the ward. 

“What are you talking about?”, she asked while stepping closer. The two Water Tribe warriors created distance between them almost immediately - but it was too late. The ward had already formed a flame in her palm, eyes squinted in suspicion and face distorted. 

“You!”, she pointed at Vodik, “Come here.”

Vodik glanced at Hakoda for a brief second before following her command. Hakoda was willing to follow as well, wanting to support Vodik, but was dismissed by a wave of the ward’s free hand. 

She was close to Vodik’s face now - Hakoda couldn’t see it anymore - and muttered something sharp to him; something Hakoda was not able to understand. 

Vodik shook his head. 

The ward fumbled with her belt a few moments, when Hakoda noticed a small ring of keys flicker in the light of her fire. She opened the metal door, the fire dangerously close to Vodik and ready to attack if they should try anything funny. 

Vodik stepped out of their cell. A last glance back to Hakoda. The ward closed the door forcefully and Vodik winced and grabbed him by the arm, leading him out of Hakoda’s view, the light of the fire leaving with them as well and creating sharp shadows at the edges of his cell. 

Hakoda heard them walking - not far - when the keys were being used again. 

_ She seperated us.  _

The woman came back into his view, grinning cruelly and dropping her flame. 

___

The female ward was interrupted during her shift as a soldier came rushing into the Brig, lightening it completely and demanding her presence upstairs. Following him on his feet was Yao, visibly tired, bags under his half-closed eyes, carrying a lantern.

The female ward and the soldier left the Brig, leaving Yao behind. Hakoda pitied him for taking another shift although it was clear that the boy didn’t get any sleep. 

Yao lightened the lantern he brought with him and put it on the table on his usual spot. Hakoda stepped closer to the bars, taking a closer look on the boy. 

He was worn out, didn’t wear as much armor as was custom in the navy. His dark hair was now visible, unkempt and Hakoda would guess it being a dark brown or black - it was hard to tell in the dim warm light of the lantern. 

“Back so early?”, Hakoda joked but earned nothing but a glare. Yao placed himself on a box - contents unknown to Hakoda - and leaned his head against the wall, facing Hakoda. 

“What happened?”, continued Hakoda.

The ward closed his eyes, let out an exhausted sigh and opened them again, making Hakoda tired from just looking at him doing it in slow motion. 

“Can’t do this now, Hadoka.”, the boy said. “I mean - Hakoda.”

Feeling tired himself now, Hakoda decided to sit on the floor, leaning with his shoulder against the metal door.

“What time is it?”, he asked, genuinely not knowing the answer. How could he? There were no windows and his sense of time left him since he walked into this heartless ship. 

Yao eyed him wary. 

“Do you really believe you helped me to escape by telling me the time?”, Hakoda said. “I just want some sort of grasp of reality.”

As Yao still refused to answer, Hakoda sighed. 

“Can you at least tell me if it is day or night.” 

The young ward blinked slowly. 

“It’s morning, the sun’s just-”, Yao was interrupted by a yawn, “-risen.”

“Thank you.”, said Hakoda and smiled gratefully, but Yao didn’t notice this gesture as his eyes were falling shut again. 

_ His mind is currently weak - but so is mine,  _ Hakoda thought and a yawn escaped him as well.  _ Morning ... maybe around six … that means the third day dawned upon us.  _

“Not supposed to sleep.”, Yao murmured quietly. “They’ll send me back home …” 

Hakoda listened as attentive as he could, minding that his concentration was at its very lowest. If the female ward or any soldier of the navy catched him being asleep at work, Hakoda was certain a peaceful solution or a mere warning was not that common within the Fire Nation. 

“Don’t you want to go home?”, Hakoda asked. A cheap attempt to gain sympathy. The boy shook his head with an exaggerated motion. 

“No. That would be a disgrace.” A pause. “Can’t do this to my family.”

_ Ah, yes. He was saying something similar like this before.  _

Hakoda formed an idea - or a beginning of an idea.

“Then tell me something. Doesn’t have to be personal, tell me anything, make something up. This will keep you awake.” -  _ And maybe I will be able to finally fall asleep. _

Yao thought for a moment, giving Hakoda a wary glance again. He relaxed a few heartbeats later. 

The monologue he started was at first too quiet for Hakoda to understand, Yao too shy to truly tell a story. But the more he was talking and chased away his tiredness, the more confident he became. 

His voice was calm and soothing, similar to Sokka’s and Hakoda could catch a few glimpses of the story - apparently an anecdote from his childhood, something about bees and a sister - before he drifted into sleep, picturing Sokka telling him the story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xoxo
> 
> near year new resolutions: i will start reacting to comments, I'm sorry I don't ignore you I read them multiple times i swear im just lazy


	4. Part I - Chapter IV

Hakoda was abruptly disturbed from his dream, several voices calling for him - was that still dream or reality? 

He opened his eyes and closed them almost again immediately, not expecting the Brig being this light. He waited a few seconds, trying to wake up and differentiating his dream from reality. There was still someone saying his name, although it’s just one man and not disembodied voices calling for him. 

He prepared himself to open his eyes again, squinted them because after three days in darkness and dim light he wasn’t used to it anymore. 

Looking up he saw a man standing in front of him, his clothes clearly screaming high rank, his feature unclear because the light was coming from behind him. 

“- Hakoda.”, he said in a low voice.

Hakoda yawned and supported himself against the metal wall while standing up. His senses were blurry and he couldn’t quite focus yet on the person standing before him.

“Yeah?”, he breathed, shielding his eyes from the light. 

A strong pair of arms grabbed him and he was led out of his cell. Hakoda made a sound of surprise and he stumbled as he tried to cooperate. The situation seemed to dawn on him, his body and mind waking up more and more with every step he took out of his cell, leaving the Brig surrounded by soldiers, walking in front of him the high ranked man - Hakoda assumed Admiral or Commander.

He was disoriented and couldn’t keep the layout of the halls in mind even if his life depended on it - although maybe it did. 

Hakoda was hoping to be led outside, to have a chance to see and feel the sun again but his hopes stayed unfulfilled, they went upstairs without leaving the dark and narrow, metal-walled corridors, the sound of murmur and feet on the metal floor surrounding them. Considering the amount of stairs they were walking up, Hakoda would guess they were somewhere midway up the tower of the Fire Nation cruiser.

Looking over the soldier’s shoulder, he could see two guards standing in front of a high, metal door. The guards saluted, one stepped aside as the other opened the heavy door. 

Hakoda was led inside the room, the soldiers which were grabbing him retreated and went outside, leaving Hakoda. He took the scenery in.

The room was big, the walls naked apart from a Fire Nation flag. A table with a box placed on top of it was standing in the middle of the room, three chairs around it. 

Hakoda felt exposed. Being hungry, sleep-deprived and still a little disoriented by being woken up this abruptly, his mind was weaker as he would like to admit. 

The high-ranked man sat down on the chair, facing Hakoda but not looking at him. Hakoda was pushed into the opposite chair. The chair beside the man remained empty. 

The man in front of Hakoda looked through different documents, just briefly reading them. Hakoda couldn’t see their contents. It’s silent. 

Hakoda remained motionless, trying to keep a proud and straight posture - but not looking hostile - as the door was opened once again, loudly, and another man entered Hakoda’s view. He knew him. It was the Captain of the vessel they were held prisoner. He saluted in front of the high ranked man, and proceeded to sit down on the remaining chair. 

_ Let the interrogation begin,  _ Hakoda thought, chasing his calm but couldn’t suppress his developing anxiety inside his stomach. 

The high ranked man cleared his throat.

“I’m Admiral Chan and this is Captain Izaro, you should be familiar with him.”, he said, pausing to give Hakoda the possibility to introduce himself as well. Hakoda grew suspicious in his politeness.

As Admiral Chan figured Hakoda wasn't willing to participate in his starting conversation, he shook his head slightly and folded his hands on the table. 

“Hakoda, Hakoda.”, he started, “When I was informed that Captain Izaro captured some Water Tribe warriors, I wasn’t thinking about coming here. But as I heard that the Water Tribe warriors were the same ones who have caused us problems and damage in the past two years, I got curious. You are their leader?”

It wasn’t a question, Hakoda remained silent. 

“Furthermore I was informed that you are not only the leader of these warriors.” He paused for effect, raising his eyebrows and leaning towards Hakoda. “You are also the chief of your Tribe.”

Hakoda stared at the table before him, not giving him a reaction to confirm if the statement was true or not. He figured that Yao had most likely informed them. 

“Not a bender, I suppose.”, Chan continued. 

“No, they’ve given us no reason to believe they are, sir.”, Izaro chimed in. Chan ignored him, not breaking his stare at Hakoda.

“There are no waterbenders in the south.”, he said. 

Hakoda drifted with his eyes to the right, remembering his daughter. Chan caught onto that, his eyes widened in surprise.

“Apparently I was mistaken.”

Hakoda’s anxiety grew cold in his stomach. He didn’t dare to meet the Admiral’s gaze, uncertain what he might see. 

Izaro didn’t follow. “That’s impossible. The Fire Nation locked them all away.”

Hakoda was growing more anxious about every little thing the Admiral might be able to read in him. Why were his protective walls down? Why was his neutral face not successful? Was he more worn out than he had originally thought?

Hakoda tried to focus on the conversation, banning Katara from his thoughts. Maybe she was locked away for being a waterbender. Maybe there was still hope for his children to be alive. Chan was staring at Hakoda, still ignoring Izaro’s comments. Hakoda remained silent. 

“I don’t care about possible waterbenders in the south. Hakoda, I want you to be aware of how serious the situation is you are in.”

Hakoda looked up, caught eye contact with the Admiral and held it. Chan stood up from where he was sitting, walking around the table and leaning with his back against the table, next to Hakoda, now invading his personal space. Hakoda noticed the Admiral’s eye color. He felt extremely uncomfortable.

“The facts are that you were on prohibited territory. You were taking hostile and armed positions towards soldiers of the Fire Nation, my soldiers - “ 

“We were not hostile. We surrendered immediately. Your captain should know that - “

Chan yelled, grabbing Hakoda with one hand by his shirt and slapping him across the cheek with the other. 

“You are in no position to interrupt me. You’ll keep silent until I’ve finished!”,

It burned. 

The Admiral walked around the table again - Hakoda noticed that Izaro crinched slightly away from him - and sat down on his chair again, closing his eyes to calm himself and breathed a few times. 

When he opened his eyes, Hakoda felt poisoned by his expression. 

“Are we clear?”, Chan asked, his calm fully restored again. 

Hakoda simply gave a quick nod. 

Admiral Chan smiled, nodding as well and continued with his list. 

“You were in possession of weapons. Water Tribe weapons, I was told.”

He opened the box placed on top of the table and presented a spear - Hakoda recognized it to be Vodik’s but they couldn’t possibly know that. 

“This doesn’t look very friendly, does it?”

He placed it on the table. Izaro gave Chan as well as Hakoda nervous looks and didn't believe it to be a good idea to place a weapon in front of the prisoner - who most likely knew how to use it. Chan didn’t acknowledge it, being certain they could overpower Hakoda easily if necessary.

“While examining your little camp closer, we’ve also found multiple maps and half-written plans concerning Fire Nation routes and blueprints.”

Admiral Chan opened the box once again, showing Hakoda what exactly he was talking about, and presented the mentioned evidence on the table. Hakoda recognized multiple documents, maps with red and blue markings, information of any kind about the Fire Nation military and navy and notes about the royal family. 

Hakoda gave it a brief look, knowing its contents. A feeling stinged inside him. About missing family. He saw himself and Bato, late at night, tired and excited in a tent, heads together above battle plans and route maps, forming new strategies. 

He glared at the Admiral.

“You see that this is incriminating evidence, which we can and will use against you. The situation now is a ticket for you and your warriors to the Boiling Rock to serve a life sentence and possibly an execution as soon as this war is finally over.

Now, we can still negotiate about your execution depending on your cooperation. Don’t think only about yourself. Think about your warriors who trust you with their lives. Who believe that you will keep them safe. I’ve seen a boy among your group, can’t be older than eighteen. It would be a shame having him executed at such a young age.”

Hakoda broke eye contact, his hands folded in his lap to keep them from shaking. He tried to keep his mind from worrying about his warriors - and Vodik. 

“All I want to know is what exactly you were planning, considering these plans are only half-written and if there are other Tribes you cooperate with. Maybe accomplices.”

He paused a moment, thinking. Then he pointed at the evidence in front of them. “And how you got these.”

“What does it matter what we were planning? You’ve captured us. We’re no threat anymore.”, Hakoda hissed. 

Chan smiled at him. 

“It matters.”

Hakoda remained silent, calculating his next steps. Why did it matter? If they had accomplices, they couldn’t go on with any possible plan they had formed together because Hakoda and his warriors were out of range. 

The truth about the half-written plans was that Hakoda and Bato came up with a lot of starting points for a strategy to overthrow the Fire Lord, to destroy their military and to win the war. The problem was, they never figured out a realistic outcome. And most of the plans included the Avatar, who was destined to defeat the Fire Lord. 

The Admiral didn’t want to know what they were planning. He wanted to figure out who they were working with. 

“We were operating alone.”, said Hakoda.

“A few Water Tribe warriors, who caused a fair amount of damage on our navy and who we were only able to capture after two years were ‘operating alone’? You understand why I highly doubt that.”

“It’s true. Or did you find any letters or other evidence that would indicate otherwise?”

“In fact, we did not. Still, I doubt that you didn’t make any connections during your time travelling the world and being a nuisance to the Fire Nation.”

“Of course we’ve met people, I won’t deny that. But nobody was willing to actively join us.”

“Join you and work for you are two different things, Hakoda.”

Hakoda opened his mouth to reply, but Izaro chimed in, claiming the Admiral’s attention. “He has to be in contact with at least one other Tribe!”, he exclaimed excitedly. 

Hakoda and Chan stared at Izaro, forgotten that he still was with them in the room. Chan’s face looked offended that Izaro interrupted his carefully constructed dialogue with Hakoda so rudely. Hakoda on the other hand was utterly confused about what the captain was talking about. Yes, he lied about his connection but he wasn’t in contact with another Water Tribe. 

“When you start to interrupt us, then have the guts to continue.”, said Chan. “Please elaborate, how do you know that? Even Hakoda doesn’t seem to know what you mean.”

Hakoda felt exposed, not prepared that the Admiral was able to read him that well. Or was that just a guess? No, Chan would have lost his credibility if he guessed that wrong.

“We were told he has a son and a daughter.”, Izaro continued.

Chan raised an eyebrow as Izaro paused again, waiting annoyed for him to talk. Hakoda’s heart raced. 

“And that they have left their Water Tribe quite some time ago. The prisoner was mentioning that they ‘live dangerously’.”

Hakoda closed his eyes, now knowing for sure that they had their information from Yao. Chan’s face was forming into a smug expression. He turned back to Hakoda. 

“It is odd that you wouldn’t try to get into contact with your own children. And it is even odder that they wouldn’t try to support their father in these challenging times.”

Hakoda glared.

“I haven’t seen my son in quite some time and I have no idea what they are doing or where they might be. We are not in touch with each other.”

Chan glanced briefly at Izaro, who nodded hesitantly, confirming his statement.

“What about your daughter?”, Chan asked. 

“I haven’t seen her since I left our Tribe.”

“That’s not a very kind thing to do to their children, is it? Leaving them behind to fight selfishly in a war that you can’t win? Is that something a good father would do?”

Hakoda heart ached, Chan hitting a nerve.

“What about their mother?”, Chan asked.

Hakoda realized that he tried to get him emotional, to bring his walls further down. His psychological approach is supposed to intensify Hakoda's emotional response. That’s something he had learned from Bato, a few weeks ago. 

“She was killed by a soldier of the Fire Nation.”

His grip on his hands grew stronger to keep them shaking. It hurt. 

“So you left your children - your own kin - not only behind to fight uselessly in a war, but also alone, without a mother and all by themselves? That’s cold.”

Hakoda’s lip trembled, he snapped.

“What else was I supposed to do? What choice did I have? I couldn’t sit there and let the Fire Nation take more and more of our lives, our safety and our freedom. How could I refuse to participate while you continue to murder and slaughter and kill. 

My children know why I left, they understand how important this is and they believe we can win this war. 

They know I love them with every inch of my soul and my whole being. I -”

Hakoda stopped, focused on his breathing. Chan looked at him even more smug than before. While Hakoda needed his time to become calm again, Chan took the chance and began to speak.

“If they really ‘live dangerously’ - as Izaro has mentioned - how do you know they are not dead this very moment we are talking?”

Izaro saw this as an opportunity to take part in this interrogation. “He said -”, Izaro started, but Chan slammed his fist down on the table, making both Hakoda and Izaro jump. 

“I asked  _ Hakoda _ . If you interrupt us again,  _ Captain _ , I will have you replaced.”

Izaro sank down on his chair, tried to make himself smaller, intimidated by the Admiral. Hakoda figured that Izaro’s only role in this interrogation is to be a witness to any confessions Hakoda made or as back-up, if he tries to overpower the Admiral. Maybe to just listen, the Admiral can’t remember every bit of information Hakoda reveals - although he had seemed to be very perceptive and attentive. 

Chan sighed. “Apologies. Now, where was I?” He gazed around the room. Hakoda could see that Chan knew exactly where the conversation was interrupted by Izaro, but gave Hakoda more time to gather himself.

“Ah, yes. Why are you so certain your children are still alive, Hakoda?”

“I feel it.” 

Chan threw his head back, laughing hysterically. Unsure how to react, Izaro smiled insecurely. 

“So either you honestly don’t know if your children are alive or you stand in contact with them. What’s it gonna be?”

Hakoda remained silent. 

“Well. I want to remind you that your efforts were in vain. You’ve left your children for nothing. We practically won the war when we conquered Ba Sing Se. And without the Avatar you’re in the exact same position you were a hundred years ago.”

_ But we aren’t in the same position. The Avatar is dead. He didn’t vanish -  _

Hakoda stopped his breath. 

“The Avatar vanished?”

Chan frowned. “Yes, haven’t you heard?” Under his breath he uttered: “You truly have no connections to anybody.”

“How?”, asked Hakoda.

Chan was getting suspicious, Hakoda could see it on his face. “How should I know? The royal children fought against the Avatar in Ba Sing Se. He was mortally wounded and that’s the end of the story.”

“What did they do with the body?”

Chan shrugged. His features still showed clear suspicion but he didn’t seem to get behind Hakoda’s questions.

“His allies probably brought it somewhere.”

Hakoda’s body was shaking. “Did his allies escape?”

Chan was convinced Hakoda hid something. “Why is that important?”, he asked. 

A pause. 

A heartbeat. 

Chan eyed him carefully. 

Then, suddenly, realization formed his features. 

“You know the Avatar’s allies.”, he said. “And you want to know if they are still alive.”

Hakoda took great effort to maintain a neutral expression, not giving anything away. 

“You do, don’t you.” The Admiral sounded excited, like a child who had found out he’s getting a present as soon as he arrived home. “The Avatar is important to you, but not as important as his allies. I wonder -” 

He stopped. 

His eyes widened.

Hakoda’s heart stopped for two heartbeats, then it started racing so much that it began to ache in his chest. Cold horror building up inside him. Fear forming fog inside his mind, blurring his thoughts. 

“Captain, please leave us alone.”, Chan said quietly, almost softly. He didn’t break eye contact with Hakoda. Izaro looked confused from one man to another, not catching up on the conversation.

“ _ Now _ , Captain.”, commanded Chan with impatience. 

Izaro jumped from his chair, saluted in front of Admiral Chan and made his way towards the door. It took a couple of minutes until the door was finally closed from the other side again. 

Hakoda felt panic burning in his veins.

“Let me conclude what we have gathered so far.”, Chan started. 

“You are the chief of a Water Tribe in the south and the leader of these Water Tribe warriors we’ve captured on Chameleon Bay.

You left your Tribe and your children about two years ago.

Your children had to take care of themselves, their only parent having left them to go to war. I bet your son holds great respect for you - most sons do - and desires to follow your example. Your daughter might have been less accepting but still honors you for your bravery. 

Now, having left the Water Tribe as well, they didn’t try to find you - their beloved father - but they were off to do their own thing.

I mentioned before that I see it as odd behavior for a father and his children while fighting in a war, the family being scattered over the world.

You mentioned you saw your son some time ago - unlike your daughter - but why didn’t he stay? After years of separation he had something more important to do than to support his own father? 

When I mentioned the fight in Ba Sing Se, you seemed to be more interested in the survival of Avatar’s allies than the Avatar himself - which is an unusual reaction, considering the Avatar is the one who brings hope to your people.

Not being sure if your children are alive and knowing they ‘live dangerously’ but not in a way that actively has something to do with your own fight against the Fire Nation, and taking your worry for the Avatar’s allies into account, I’m certain to assume that your children, your son as well as your daughter, are in direct contact with the Avatar and are the reported allies he’s been seen with.”

He paused. 

“Am I wrong?”

Hakoda lowered his head, desperately searching for an objection, an excuse, a believable lie, but his mind remained empty. Defeated, he looks for the Admiral’s eye contact. 

“That was pretty clever.”, Hakoda said. “But as you already realized, I have no idea where they are. There’s no use to threaten me to get into contact with them.”

Chan squinted his eyes, not saying anything, calculating. Hakoda remained silent as well. 

It felt like an eternity, what was in reality five minutes of heavy silence. 

“Very well. This should be the end for now - I have to think.”, Chan said. 

He stood up, walked past Hakoda and knocked against the secured door. The two guards from the hall entered, both grabbing Hakoda by his arms. Chan stopped them a moment before they left, a hand on Hakoda’s chest to hold him in place. The Admiral leaned to him, whispered sharply:

“It will be the best for the both of us if you keep this little information strictly confidential for now, alright?”

It wasn't a question.


End file.
